‘Two and a Half Men’ minus 1 Sheen, plus 1 Kutcher, with no net loss

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For reasons that everyone knows entirely too much about, television nearly lost "Two and a Half Men" last spring. One of the cast members had personal problems in a broadly public way, the eighth season was halted, and a merciful cancellation seemed possible for the highly rated CBS sitcom.

When all is said and done (and former co-star Charlie Sheen is roasted and toasted and given whatever glories await him) — and now that Ashton Kutcher proved Monday night on the show's ninth-season premiere that almost any sentient being could have easily joined the cast — the thing I'll remember most about this saga is that no one besides the people who make money off syndication bounties ever seemed terribly distraught about losing "Two and a Half Men."

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