Lunchline: If you're aren't a cop, don't act like one

If you have difficulty viewing this newsletter, click here to view as a Web page. Click here to view in plain text. Friday, June 22, 2012 The Miami Heat won the NBA Championship last night, and former Wizard Mike Miller went absolutely insane and blew up for 23 points with seven 3's. It was unreal. In other news, LeBron was partying with LMFAO after the game, wearing a Lebron shirt. There are few better feelings in life than the last day of the school year. Kids are ready to be done with the daily duties of teachers, homework and rules — while educators are glad to get rid of them. It's a feeling of relief and excitement all at the same time that's hard to recreate. And at Shepherd Elementary School, the last week of school before heading off to Alice Deal was an eventful one. Make sure to read The Post's Monica Hesse's glorious account of what it's like to yearn for summer. How would you like to be a slave for a day? Yeah, didn't think so. But somehow at the Hampton National Historic Site's Web site, this is exactly what they were advertising for a tour they offered. Some of the wording has since been taken down for the trip that is supposed to be a glimpse into the "hard work" slaves were forced to do. The release also claims that participants can "carry buckets of water with a yoke on your shoulders." You can't make this stuff up. I'm fascinated by people that impersonate police officers. It happens with a fair amount of regularity and I've always wondered what actual cops think about these guys in private. Nonetheless, if you're going to play fake officer, watch who you choose to pull over. Some clown decided to stop a guy in Prince George's County, and it turned out the guy was an off-duty officer, who proceeded to clown him about his little act. The Post's Clarence Williams details what happened next, which is hilarious. Sexual assault is all too common, unfortunately. And for children, the numbers are scary. It's estimated that more than 1 in 10 children are assaulted before age 18. The case of Jerry Sandusky has shone a necessary light on the predatory practices some choose to employ, but many cases go unreported, unedited and never get unpacked. Slate's Emily Yoffe opens up and tells three personal stories of assault that she'd never told anyone else before. My man Ben Olsen has officially arrived. When he first filled in as interim coach for D.C. United, I wondered if the former fiery player would eventually turn into the guy to lead the Black and Red back to glory. That hasn't happened yet, but in just his second complete season as a head coach, he's coaching the MLS All-Stars. Now, he might have backed into it for personnel reasons, but there's an argument that he deserved it outright anyway. The Post's Steven Goff has the story. Extra Bites • There are numerous self-important blogs in D.C. that treat everyday happenings like they are breaking news, undiscovered gems or classic legendary pieces of art. And then, there's Titan of Trinidad, which makes fun of everything those blogs are about. I love it. • Here's the piece where a guy tries to get oddly political about Bryce Harper, and another writer rips him to shreds for even trying something so stupid. • Looking for the perfect pop music summer mixtape? NPR has you covered. Here's how to get at me. There's Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and you can e-mail me at clinton.yates@wpost.com. Get The Washington Post, your way. Want to stay on top of the latest news, features, commentary and more? Here's how: Mobile: Alerts: Social Media: Applications Web site E-mail SMS RSS Feeds Facebook Twitter SEND TO A FRIEND UNSUBSCRIBE NEWSLETTER CENTER GET HELP Washington Post Digital E-mail Customer Care 1150 15th Street NW Washington, D.C. 20071 ©2012 The Washington Post Privacy Policy